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1. |
Do You Fear What I Fear?
03:45
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The police keep gunning people down
Do you fear what I fear?
Billionaires are building underground
Do you fear what I fear?
A time, a time, dripping with distress
It will put us all to the test
It will put us all to the test
Gaza bombings seem to never end
Do you fear what I fear?
Donald Trump is gonna run again
Do you fear what I fear?
A world, a world, tipping on the brink
It could end as quick as a blink
It could end as quick as a blink
Housing prices beyond people’s means
Do you see what I see?
Charging folks to get the new vaccines
Do you see what I see?
A state, a state
Fucked up by the rich
They could drive us into a ditch
They could drive us into a ditch
Microplastics swimming through the seas
Do you know what I know?
Thermostat just jumped two degrees
Do you know what I know?
A child, a child, shivering in the cold
Could be far too warm when they’re old
Could be far too warm when they’re old
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2. |
Vrabel, Vrabel, Vrabel
01:42
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Mike Vrabel was a lineman with 57 sacks
Three rings upon his fingers, and all-pro level stats
Coach Vrabel Vrabel Vrabel
You crushed back in the day
Coach Vrabel Vrabel Vrabel
Your coaching is ok
As head coach of the Titans, Mike Vrabel’s doing fine
A bit above 500, the good side of the line
Coach Vrabel Vrabel Vrabel
The GOAT before ‘08
Coach Vrabel Vrabel Vrabel
You coach the team ok
11 interceptions, 12 catches for TDs
over 700 tackles, a playmaking machine
Coach Vrabel Vrabel Vrabel
How well you used to play
Coach Vrabel Vrabel Vrabel
Your coaching is ok
Mike Vrabel’s tasted winning and he wants it for his teams
They’ve kind of struggled lately but they’re better than it seems
Coach Vrabel Vrabel Vrabel
How well you used to play
Coach Vrabel Vrabel Vrabel
You also coach ok
A legend at a level that most people never reach
His playing fed his fam and then he stuck around to teach
Coach Vrabel Vrabel Vrabel
How well you used to play!
Coach Vrabel Vrabel Vrabel
Your coaching is ok!
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3. |
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All is well, Batman smells
Robin has laid an egg
Batmobile has lost a wheel
The Joker is just jete-ing
He ballets
The ballerina
All is cool, Alfred drools
Catwoman’s getting spayed
Batcave doors got off their course
And penguin is just plie-ing
He ballets
The ballerina
All’s on fleek, Gordon reeks,
Nightwing slept through the day
Bat-Boat bow is cracking now
And Scarecrow is relevé-ing
He ballet
The ballerina
All’s in sync, Batman stinks,
Fox can’t keep hounds at bay
Batpod tire caught on fire
And Bane is pas de bourres-ing
He ballets
The ballet
Batman smells
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4. |
Must Be Elon
03:47
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Must be Elon
Who has a vibe that is gross and bad
Elon has a vibe that is gross and bad
Who’s got an app but he can’t sell ads
Elon’s got an app but he can’t sell ads
Can’t sell ads!
Gross and bad!
Must be Elon, must be Elon
Must be Elon, Elon Musk!
Who doubles down like he won’t grow up?
Elon doubles down like he won’t grow up!
Who makes cars and his cars blow up?
Elon makes cars and his cars blow up!
Won’t grow up!
Cars blow up!
Can’t sell ads!
Gross and bad!
Must be Elon, must be Elon
Must be Elon, Elon Musk!
Who seems to be an apartheid fash?
Elon seems to be an apartheid fash!
Who flies rockets that rain down trash?
Elon flies rockets that rain down trash!
Apartheid fash!
Rains down trash!
Won’t grow up!
Cars blow up!
Can’t sell ads!
Gross and bad!
Must be Elon, must be Elon
Must be Elon, Elon Musk!
Who made an unsafe fucked up truck?
Elon made an unsafe fucked up truck!
Who made a pretty fun website suck?
Elon made a pretty fun website suck!
Fucked up truck!
Website sucks!
Apartheid fash!
Rains down trash!
Won’t grow up!
Cars blow up!
Can’t sell ads!
Gross and bad!
Must be Elon, must be Elon
Must be Elon, Elon Musk!
Whose favorite sex bribe is a horse?
Elon’s favorite sex bribe is a horse!
Who acts out cause he’s so divorced?
Elon acts out cause he’s so divorced!
Sex bribe horse!
So divorced!
Fucked up truck!
Website sucks!
Apartheid fash!
Rains down trash!
Won’t grow up!
Cars blow up!
Can’t sell ads!
Gross and bad!
Must be Elon, must be Elon
Must be Elon, Elon Musk!
Who can’t meme so he overbids?
Elon can’t meme so he overbids!
Who loves eugenics but avoids his kids?
Elon loves eugenics but avoids his kids!
Overbids!
Avoids his kids!
Sex bribe horse!
So divorced!
Fucked up truck!
Website sucks!
Apartheid fash!
Rains down trash!
Won’t grow up!
Cars blow up!
Can’t sell ads!
Gross and bad!
Must be Elon, must be Elon
Must be Elon, Elon Musk!
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5. |
The Crypto Apes
04:45
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It was almost dinnertime
There I stood in the Five Guys line
Trying to buy a hot dog or two
Not really in a “burger” mood
Right in front of me in queue was a guy who paid for Twitter Blue
Grinding hard per sigma mindset
And in his hand he held the internet
Some art was on his phone, it was clumsy and overblown
And while we waited to order food
He made a request that was sort of rude:
“Mister won’t you buy these apes?
I want out of NFTs
Because they cost me my mortgage and my wife
First you gotta buy these coins
Market’s at an awesome price
And if this Astro interests you,
And if you get some slurp juice too
Then you can craft three Apes anew
And crypto can eat up your life”
He pitched to me for what seemed like days
cashier said “cmon man, you gotta pay”
He gave his pocket two taps with his hand
Smiled at me and he said “hey man
I bought these apes for like seventy racks
But right now I want a short order snack
Tell me, guy, for seven hundred bucks…
Can you help me improve my luck?”
So I talked him down to six, with negotiating tricks
And I’ll never forget how his face got annoying when he said
“You can pay with your favorite coin”
Mister won’t you buy these apes?
I want out of NFTs
Because the inner circles are alt-right
You gotta pay some gas fees too
Cover all the costs each time
And if the numbers don’t go up
And no one wants to buy that stuff
You buy the dip and you hodl tough
And let crypto eat up your life
I knew I’d got a bargain basement rate
But I felt a twinge of doubt
Because if prices never go back up,
And no one else gets in, then I can’t get out
So mister won’t you buy these apes?
Join the world of NFTs
This one here has a booger made of Sprite™️
You could get rich, sir
They sell for a lot online
Of course the buyer tends to spend
Cash fronted by his seller friend
This perfect scheme won’t ever end
If you let crypto eat up your life
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6. |
FSTVS 23
04:20
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Im seeing trees full of lights and I’m whiny
It can’t be nice for the climate how they’re so shiny
It’s in my DNA to be this way
December 23 and Me can make it regal with the rhyming
…Like here kings, I dropped this
It’s not a Hannukah song it’s not for Kwanzaas
It’s not a gospel, nobody brought myrrh
I wrote a festivus banger let’s make it awkward
Yo
I’m Frank Costanza with the grievances
Party people play the anthem when the season hits
We ain’t distracted by the gleam and glitz
Leave the tinsel home /metal pole’s all we need for this
Ain’t nobody shopping for them greedy gifts
It's more a dinner party vibe, bring ingredients
Everybody deserves some space when they need to vent
Air it out, Frank with the grievances….
So if your momma doesn’t tip (yo we’re airing that out)
Your daddy thinks he can’t get sick (then we’re airing it out)
Your brother’s wife is acting fake (so we’re airing it out)
Your cousin’s hiding all the plates
yeah, let’s talk about Brad.
We specifically told him no when he offered to help us
With the dishes but there he goes like all he’s caring about,
Is his mission to recompose the pans and pots on the shelf
But the pans are too damp for the shelf that’s why I’m airing em out
my cortisol stays turnt every day of the year
Seeing people holding their hurt ‘stead of saying it clear
They keep it bottled up inside to never anger their peers
But then their own- pain- grows some self awareness and sprouts
Into embarrassment doubt branches to hatred and fear
they claim to be cheerful apparently their carols are shouts
We sing a different type of jingle no mistaking it here
It’s Frank and it’s fierce the fairness of a narrative account
(that’s on conflict resolution)
Those were the stanzas with the grievances.
Party people play the anthem when the season hits
We ain’t distracted by the gleam and glitz
Leave the tinsel home metal pole’s all we need for this
Gather round the table for some peas and bisque
Scrap it out with strangers when the feats commence
All of the rest of us belong where the season is
If Festivus is wrong player plead the fifth
Grandma brought a casserole? I eat that
And then I offer actionable feedback
It needed more salt, and that was your fault
Every time you bring a starch?
I bring snacks
It’s in the spirit of the holiday
A healthy family dynamic when people say just what they gotta say,
Til everybody turn to wrestlers.
We air it out and let it breathe like stockings it’s fucking festive...
….If that’s a crime, better plead the fifth.
By the way, I think your wreath is shit
I can swing with the same chops that I feed you with
Air you out next to these motherfucking grievances
Unh, I’m Frank Costanza with the grievances
Everybody play the anthem when the season hits
Skip the freaking tinsel once let the trees exist
Leave the shits alone metal pole’s all we need for this
I think it’s time to wrestle
We air it out and let it breathe like stockings it’s fucking festive
It’s almost kinda swampy
That’s why it’s called- feats- of strength
You Leave ranked like strong feet
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ThIIIrd Person Michigan
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